17. Sometimes You Hear the Bullet

January 28, 1973 (J-318)

Written by: Written by Carl Kleinschmitt
Directed by: Directed by William Wiard
Guest Stars: James Callahan as Tommy Gillis. Ronny Howard as Wendell/Walter Peters. Fred Lerner as Parient #1. Chuck Hicks as Patient #2.
I probably don't need to tell you that Ronny Howard will become Ron Howard, star of Happy Days and later major Oscar-winning film director.
Semi-regulars: William Christopher as Father Mulcahy. Lynette Mettey as Nurse Nancy Griffin.

Plot: During a Burns 'n' Hot Lips date, Burns's back goes. Once the boys get him into traction, Burns applies for the Purple Heart - the injury was sustained at a front-line unit which technically makes it battle-connected. Meanwhile, Hawkeye's buddy Tommy Gillis turns up - once a reporter, he has become a soldier to be able to write about the war better. The next patient the boys come across, with appendicitis, is revealed to be less than sixteen, and he's all too eager to get back to the fighting. Eager enough to try to hotwire a jeep to avoid being sent home. He confesses that he used his brother's birth certificate to fake his age to get in so he could be a hero and impress those back home. Although Hawkeye agrees not to tell on him, when Gillis has died on the operating table, realising that maybe it wasn't worth it for the sake of writing, Hawkeye changes his mind. He grasses 'Wendell' up and has him sent home, bitter but alive. Wendell is at least slightly cheered up when Hawkeye gives him a Purple Heart for his troubles. This doesn't please Burns, as it's his medal he steals!

Glitches: Hawkeye and Gillis are meant to be the same age, but I'd say Gillis is about five to ten years older.
Gillis is wearing a wedding band, but it's on his right hand. It's not necessarily a glitch, as some people just wear rings like that.
Hawkeye tells Gillis he lives in a tent with three other guys. No, Trapper and Burns. That's two. (The writer probably thought Spearchucker was still around.)
The earring is actually green, not purple.

Great Lines: Hawkeye's excuse for being in post-op. 'I have a stethoscope fetish. This is the only place I can wear one without attracting attention.'
Gillis, on why he's in Korea: 'I'm keeping my country safe from the Communist menace!' Hawkeye: 'You used to be a communist!' Gillis: 'Then I'm keeping my country safe from me.'
Hawkeye's date is interrupted: 'Hot Lips, if you don't get out of here I'll shoot you.' 'It's not Hot Lips - it's Radar.' 'Radar, if you don't get out of here I'll shoot Hot Lips.'
Walter: 'I'm not gonna forgive you for this! Not for the rest of my life!' Hawkeye: 'Let's hope it's a long and healthy hate.'

Continuity is for Wimps: Hawkeye and his date make a huge fuss over the olives, but they haven't had any trouble getting them before or since.
Burns is referred to as 'Major Franklin D Burns' when he gets his purple earring. After this point, his middle name is Marion.
If Hawkeye has known Gillis for fifteen years, since fifth grade, this makes Hawkeye about 25. Ignoring for the moment the fact that he sure doesn't look 28 by the end of the war, he should surely be too young to be a practising surgeon. I mean, I'm sure he's gifted, but assuming he finished secondary school by 18, there's still pre-med, then med school, then his internships and residency and all kinds of farting about. When BJ turns up later, it's mentioned that he's 28 and fresh out of residency. That sounds about right to me - Hawkeye should have been about there too.
The beds on the down-screen side of post-op are set up with pillow towards the aisle. They change over between episodes.

Suction: 2 calls.

Notes: Burns and Hot Lips have a secret knock now.
Hawkeye knows someone in China who can get him green olives on the black market, but they aren't very good.
Last time Burns's back went it was VJ day, in Times Square.
Hawkeye hadn't cried since he got to Korea, before this episode.

Comments: Ron Howard certainly proved his worth as a performer very young - the wonderful performance he gave this episode, he was only eighteen when it was made. This was also before the start of his great success in Happy Days (1974). Mind you, according to his file on the IMDB, he was in a film with Yul Brynner and Deborah Kerr when he was only five! Some people just start really young, I guess.
An early installment of the genre that will appear so much in later seasons: 'War is really nasty after all.' A well done one, though, all the better when it's slightly out of place, and the grim matter is balanced nicely with the very silly story about Burns's back.

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