16. The Ringbanger

January 21, 1973 (J-316)

Written by: Jerry Mayer
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Leslie Neilsen as Colonel Buzz Brighton.
I probably don't need to tell you that Leslie Neilsen is, of course, the star of Police Squad and The Naked Gun.
Semi-regulars: Linda Meiklejohn as Nurse Leslie.

Plot: Colonel Buzz Brighton, a semi-famous army hotshot, visits the camp to get a bullet taken out of him. His cavalier attitude towards killing and death (particularly of his own troops) doesn't impress the boys at all. His statistics reinforce their opinion that he needs to be brought out of the game for a while. The boys decide to give him a little home-made battle fatigue, convincing him that Henry is a boozer and Burns is gay to stop him getting a second opinion. After a few tricks, they manage to impress on him that war is messing with his head. Buzz goes back to the States without killing any more soldiers.

Glitches: Buzz's ring-hand goes instantly from banging on the arm of his chair in the Swamp to being near his face.
In one shot the sleeve of Burns's jacket is draped down behind the high heels, in the other the floor behind the shoes is clear.
Between shots in the showers, Burns's hand leaps under his arm.
The glass of milk that Buzz 'ordered' is beside his bed before Radar puts it there.
In Buzz's tent, Henry's gun hand flips across his chest between shots.

Great Lines: Hawkeye: 'This guy's so fit he'll be in good health two years after he's dead!'
The PA: '...the owner of a red pickup truck, Illinois license LU6751. Please fly back to Chicago and remove it from the front of the Y.'
Buzz homophobing Burns: 'What are you trying to do?' Burns: 'Take your pulse.' Buzz: 'Well, can't you do it without touching me?!'

Just Plain Weird Lines: Buzz, about Hot Lips: 'What, you call her Hot Lips?' Hawkeye: 'Yeah, and not because she's left-handed!' Dare I say HUH?!?

Notes: Has anyone else noticed that Leslie Neilsen sounds like he's black? The first time I saw this episode, I only heard the sound for most of it, and assumed that Buzz was a black guy!

Comments: Fairly average episode, which is still pretty good, 'cos it's M*A*S*H. The set-up is very skillful, and the execution works very nicely, mostly due to a very good performance from Neilsen, one of the kings of comedy. A wonderful example of 'straight, but not too straight' loony acting.

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