80. The Kids

October 31, 1975 (G-511)

Written by: Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum
Directed by: Alan Alda
Guest Stars: Ann Doran, as Meg Cratty. Mitchell Sakamoto, as Slicky Boy. Hounani Min, as Sung Lee. Chrisleen Sun, as Korean Girl. Darren Lee, as Korean Boy.
Semi-regulars: William Christopher as Father Mulcahy again. Kellye Nakahara, as Nurse Kellye.

Plot: The local civilian orphanage is being shelled and the kids and their carer, Nurse Cratty, need to evacuate. The come to the 4077th. Meanwhile, Burns reveals that he has been given a purple heart for getting a shell fragment in his eye - an egg shell fragment, to be precise. The kids are all made comfortable eventually, despite Burns's best efforts. Nurse Cratty gets worried because a pregnant woman she is expecting to arrive is running late. When she arrives, she only just makes it, as she's been shot in the abdomen by a sniper. They have to deliver the baby to save the mother's life, a problem made less easy by the fact that many wounded arrive in the middle of the night. They manage to save both baby and mother, despite the fact that the bullet actually hit the baby. After the OR session, Burns discovers that his medal's been stolen, and suspects one of the Korean boys. It is later revealed that Hawkeye and BJ stole it to give to the new baby.

Glitches: When praying for the mother, Father Mulcahy crosses himself twice. I guess she was just hurt real bad.

Great Lines: Hawkeye, to Frank: 'You know you really should see a proctologist about possible brain damage.'
Hawkeye: 'I haven't delivered a kid since I drove my nephew over to his grandmother's!' Nurse Cratty: 'That's close enough for jazz.'
Mulcahy: 'Klinger, I thought you were an atheist.' Klinger: 'Gave it up for Lent.' Now that is one hell of a line - possibly the best of the series to date!

The Klinger Collection: An ankle-length dress in a strange puce colour, with a corsage and matching floral hat. Later, a knee-length red polyester number with matching hat, and his helmet on over the top.

Continuity is for Wimps: I don't recall Hawkeye ever having a nephew before or since, but then he was probably just kidding.
And doesn't Nurse Cratty look different than when she turned up for Henry's trial back in Season 2? (Episode 32. The Trial of Henry Blake, when she was played by Hope Summers).

They All Look the Same to Me: Mitchell Sakamoto in his second appearance for the series. (The first was in Episode 51. Officer of the Day (Season 3).

Je ne parle Korean...do I? Colonel Potter says something nice to the new mother - probably 'congratulations and don't get shot again' or something.

Comments: The scene where one of the kids pinches Radar's teddy bear is lovely, as is Colonel Potter reading to the kids from an army manual. Radar singing a lullaby to one of the little girls is weep-making. Although it was kind of low on gags, this episode really struck an appropriate note. Not too harsh, but not too silly, it had a good balance. Also, great ensemble performance.

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