78. The Bus

October 17, 1975 (G-512)

Written by: John D. Hess
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Soon-Teck Oh, as the North Korean soldier.

Plot: On the way back from a medical conference, Hawkeye, BJ, Burns, Colonel Potter and Radar are in a bus, which first gets lost and then breaks down. There is no village life around, and they can't go anywhere, they have no food or water, no communications, and are verily stuffed. After nightfall, Burns is sneakily eating a secret stash of chocolate while the others go hungry. Radar pops out to take a whizz, and while he's gone they catch a wounded North Korean (Soon-Teck Oh). When Radar comes back, he discovers that Burns has fallen asleep on guard, and that there is a lot of chocolate which Burns is hoarding. In the morning, the North Korean fixes the bus for them, and Radar rather craftily gets Frank to give them all some chocolate. Hawkeye, BJ and the North Korean finish up by playing a joke on Burns with a walkie talkie, pretending to be the enemy.

Glitches: Where did Radar go? He can't have been peeing the whole time he was away, can he? Especially since he just went when he and Frank were scouting.

AWOL: No Klinger, no Hot Lips.

Great Lines: Burns, into the walkie-talkie: 'There are only about half a dozen stars visible, skywise. I am directly under the brightest one.' Hawkeye: 'Terrific, Frank.' BJ: 'They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem.'

They All Look the Same to Me: Another one for Soon-Teck Oh. Poor bugger. He must have been getting pretty tired by this point!

Je ne parle Korean...do I? Hawkeye reflects that he's been there all that time and he still can't speak the language. BJ wishes he knew how to say 'thanks'.

Notes: Colonel Potter was at Chateau Tirie in WWI, and got gassed there. He was temporarily blinded by it but got better.

Comments: Quite what the point of this episode was is anyone's guess, but it's enough that it was good fun and well worth watching. I guess the overriding theme might be 'war is hell but the enemy must be human - he thinks Burns is a twit as well!'. Burns being all GI and macho is still as funny as when he first started it.

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