64. Bulletin Board

January 14, 1975 (B-323)

Written by: Larry Gelbart
Directed by: Alan Alda
Semi-regulars: Jamie Farr, as Corporal Klinger. William Christopher, as Father Mulcahy. Patricia Stevens, as Nurse Brown. Kellye Nakahara, as Nurse Charlie. Johnny Haymer, as Sergeant Zale.

Plot: Highlights from the camp bulletin board and camp life: the Colonel gives a sex lecture. Burns buys war bonds and tries to persuade the boys to do the same, which they don't. Hot Lips wants to borrow money from Burns for her sister's wedding present, which he really doesn't want to do. Trapper writes to his 7-year-old about the war, including an odd case where Burns thinks a soldier is dead, when he's got majorly serious hypothermia but is still alive and proves to be saved by it - if it had been summer he'd have bled to death. The camp see a Shirley Temple film and a fight breaks out (Klinger's dress is the only major casualty) before shelling starts. Hot Lips is giving Burns a very cold shoulder over his refusal to loan her the money. After the shelling is over, Henry is very depressed that the war just won't let up. He even thinks about cancelling the camp picnic, which is to raise money for the Korean orphans. The picnic does go ahead, with dancing, games, Punch and Judy and races. Burns finally folds and gives Hot Lips the money, but asks for an IOU - and interest. She is furious. The final event of the picnic - the enlisted v commissioned tug-o-war - is won by the enlisted, but then choppers arrive. Henry goes back to being depressed but admits that the picnic was still a good idea.

Glitches: There's a lot of very bad looping in the episode - not only does it usually sound wrong, but half the time the actors' lips aren't even moving.
Burns seems to change which end of his bed he sleeps at in the middle of the episode.
The filling of the water glasses game seems to end rather arbitrarily.

Great Lines: Henry: 'Now, the aspect of today's subject that I'm going to delve on is the US army's contribution to birth control.' Trapper: 'I knew they were going to ask for contributions!' Hawkeye: 'I gave at the office.'
Klinger: 'I thought the lecture was on sex! I didn't iron my dress to talk politics!'
Henry, in his lecture: 'There's not enough food, housing, schools - you name it, they haven't got it.'
Trapper (in his letter): 'First of all, I live in a tent, which is kind of old and smelly, which I share with two doctors, who are young and smelly.'

The Klinger Collection: His green polka-dot dress and a lovely blue hat. Then a lovely red ensemble with matching red hat. A green blouse and red skirt with bandanna for his kissing booth.

Continuity is for Wimps: It was odd that Burns didn't want Hot Lips to see him in his shorts. Hasn't she seen the whole picture before?
Hot Lips has a sister? Since when? And if her father's dead, how come he shows up at the camp in a later episode? And I don't recall her mother being an alcoholic kleptomaniac before - or since.

Notes: Trapper's 7-year-old daughter is called Becky.
Radar is playing the drums again.
Clarke Gable is divorcing Lady Sylvia Ashley.

Comments: Burns's little tirade at the lecture was rather funny but at the same time quite telling - the Government that the United States paid so many millions of dollars to get. It'd be more funny if it wasn't true.
Shirley Temple seems to be dancing once more with the late great Mr Bojangles.
Father Mulcahy springing Trapper and the nurse playing Punch and Judy was very amusing. I personally love a Punch and Judy show that isn't an excuse for blatant domestic abuse.
The episode was a little bit directionless, but it was still amusing. A lot of these earlier episodes have less substantial plotlines - this one had the format of a letter home episode but without the substance. Many cute moments and funny bits, just not too well strung together.

Previous episode
Next episode
Back to the Virgin's Guide to M*A*S*H main page
Back to episode listings