54. Springtime

October 15, 1974 (B-303)

Written by: Linda Bloodworth and Mary Kay Place
Directed by: Don Weis
Guest Stars: Alex Karras as Lyle the Marine. Mary Kay Place as Louise. Greg Mabrey as Pasco.
Anybody who knows which of the characters was Pasco is more than welcome to let me know!
Semi-regulars: Jamie Farr as Corporal Klinger. William Christopher as Father Mulcahy. Jeff Maxwell as Server, though probably Igor. Roy Goldman as the corpsman. An uncredited Nurse Baker. Kellye Nakahara as Nurse Kellye (uncredited).

Plot: A horrible OR session, in which Hawkeye saves a marine with a neck-wound. After the session is over, the gang realise that it's warm and sunny - just like springtime, in fact. Radar meets a nurse (Nurse Simmons) who's just like him. Klinger, reading poetry in the country, gets a letter from home that has him dancing around in joy. A soldier has a cat in post-op and won't let go of it, despite being ordered to by Burns. Hawkeye's marine keeps trying to do nice things for him, but instead makes more trouble. Klinger's letter is from his high-school sweetheart Laverne, who has agreed to marry him. Radar starts ignoring Nurse Simmons because he likes her and has no idea how to show it. Fortunately, Hawkeye and Trapper give him some tips on how to actually pick up girls. He decides to ask her to the movies, but she prefers staying in and reading poetry - so Radar borrows Klinger's volume of Rupert Brook. Despite Burns's help Hawkeye gets the cat away from the patient in post-op, but the patient freaks out and decides to take Hawkeye instead. Lyle the Marine frees Hawkeye from the patient's armpit. Radar takes some poetry to Simmons's tent and discovers that she is just as keen on him as he is on her, and she jumps him. Klinger's wedding is successfully completed via radio by Father Mulcahy. Burns and Hot Lips object but Lyle the Marine steps in and threatens Burns till he gives in. Radar finally gets to report to the boys that he has been 'slaked' by Simmons. The next day it's rainy and horrible again, proving that springtime in Korea can be short-lived.

Glitches: Hawkeye says that the nurse he was dreaming was a rerun - something which didn't exist in 1951.
Henry's line about Klinger becoming a Rockette at Radio City Music Hall has been looped in and doesn't sound quirte right with the surrounding lines.
Radar wants to take Simmons to see Firstborn of Godzilla and claims he has seen the original Godzilla. He must be making use of the same time machine he uses to get his Avengers comics from the future, because there weren't any Godzilla films around at this point in time. (Godzilla came out in 1956, and that was in Japan. It didn't get to the USA till after that).
I don't know if this is a glitch or not, but when Henry's radio transmission gets mis-routed, the woman tells him to add half a pound of shelled pecans and a bottle of lemon extract - but then asks him if he really wants her recipe for never-fail corn bread. Pecans and lemon extract don't sound like no corn bread I've ever eaten, but I may just be unfamiliar with a regional variation.

Great Lines: Klinger: 'You've gotta let me go, sir. I just have to get married.' Henry: 'You're not pregnant, are you?'
Hawkeye, about his very-attached marine: '"Dear Dad - I'm bringing home a Marine. He'll be the son you never had."'
Trapper, to Radar about nurse Simmons: 'Why don't you prove to her you're alive?' Hawkeye: 'Breathe in her face.'
Trapper: 'Why don't you take her to the pictures?' Radar: 'Wow! That's a great idea!' Trapper: 'We invented it.' Hawkeye: 'We get a two-cent royalty every time a guy asks a girl to the movies.'
Burns is counting down for the soldier to let go of the cat: 'One. Two. Three. Four...' Hawkeye: 'Showing off for the patients again, Frank?'
Simmons: 'I love chocolate. Even though it makes my face break out.' Radar: 'Me too. I mean, it did until I turned into a man.'
Radar, reading poetry to Simmons: '"The Damned Ship". Oh, excuse me...'
Klinger, when the boys turn up to his wedding: 'I'm really touched.' Trapper: 'I always thought so.'
When Hot Lips sees Klinger getting married, she tells him, 'You've got a nerve wearing white,' to which he simply replies, 'Jealous?' MEEE-ow!
Hawkeye toasts the thunder: 'Here's to the biggest cannon in the war. (Raises his glass to heaven). And it's a comfort to know it's in your hands.'
Trapper, to Radar: 'Come on - tell your Uncle Trapper.' Hawkeye: 'And your Aunt Hawkeye.'

The Klinger Collection: A floral dress with mauve flowers, blue scarves and a matching hat. Later, a white peasant-style dress with matching earrings and headscarf. Naturally, as he recites his vows, he is in a white wedding dress - and a very horrible one it is too. I'd have thought he had better taste.

Continuity is for Wimps: The volleyball teams are up, but one only very rarely (in stock footage, I think) sees any of the gang playing volleyball.

Suction: One.

Notes: A nice little cameo by the writer of the episode, Mary Kay Place, as Louise - a random nurse who's probably on a volleyball team.
It's the second year of the war - Radar mentions that the camp has shrunk over the past year.
Does Simmons remind anyone else of Radar's old description of his imaginary friend Shirley, (see Episode 15. Tuttle in Season One) who looked 'just like him, only with tiny little breasts'?
Hawkeye greets Burns and Hot Lips: 'Scott! Zelda!' - he's referring to F Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda, just in case anybody was wondering.

Comments: Even by Burns and Hot Lips's usual standards, trying to stop Klinger's wedding really is a bit much - I think the writers were really just short of things for them to do. I really loved Mulcahy's 'fast forward' conclusion to the wedding ceremony.
A fairly silly episode, but good fun with some dynamite dialogue. Lyle the Marine is funny and cringe-worthy at the same time, with his well-meaning and yet utterly ridiculous attempts to be nice to Hawkeye. Klinger's wedding was very sweet, while still being silly.

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